The very first thing that should be addressed is pain.
Why does it hurt when you pee?
What did your doctor diagnose that to be?

Of course eating a raw paleo diet is best.

Try a lubricating diet.  High amounts of raw fat.

http://www.eczemacure.info/blog/2010/01/15/dry-skin-try-this-raw-fatty-lubricating-daily-diet-and-living-routine/

For your drink.  Buy a big water melon.  Cool it in the refrigerator.  Eat the whole day.  This should cleanse your kidneys.

Must tell girlfriend next time you both take a bath before sex, brush teeth before sex and another bath after sex, brush teeth after sex.  It may sound funny but I have heard horror stories before of very poor hygiene, like not changing underwear for many days.

If you brush your teeth, you actually create micro-tears in your mouth and gums which make you more vulnerable to infection; therefore it is not advised(going to a special effort to do so right before sexual activity, I mean). I would not think mouthwash would be a problem, however.

Thanks guys, my anus itches. Ahhhh!

Zero carbs would mean just raw meat/fish and nothing else right? Because I've been eating fruits and raw vegetables with my meat.